this can't be good for my health

Hey all. This is a tad bit strange, since I probably don't you, but I imagine this is kind of like meeting someone random at a party where you're supposedly acquainted with everyone. In these situations I just tend to talk excessively in an attempt to diffuse the awkwardness which usually leads to me discussing something inappropriate and/or personal that is probably not included in the limited realm of "casual party conversation." And that's the point where I just start chugging Corona and pretend I wasn't actually saying anything. It usually works. Hopefully I'll have more sense than to do that here, but we'll just have to wait and see.

The truth is, I used to have a blog. It was in '03 (well I think I started it in '01 or something, mid high school, but it met its grisly end in early '05). People generally liked it, which's good, I suppose, though at the time I was so entrenched in D-nial and los angeles (straightsororitygirl) bullshit that I can hardly recognize my own prose. There are a couple of good entries in there, but I'm not going to link to them because that would lead to everyone finding entries that I wish had never existed in the first place.

Part of the problem with that blog was that it represented my then-absurdly high level of trust in the inherent goodness of humanity and (very misguided) belief in the fact that no one would intentionally try to fuck me over, especially not through my writing. Then someone did, in fact, use my writing against me in order to fuck me over. This led to my sorority (I know, I know, just understand I was in the middle of erecting a complicated facade) getting in a lot of trouble. I mean a LOT. Purely by accident did I incriminate them, I might add. Who knew that making us drink jack daniels while dressed in leopard tights was hazing?? It was fun! (fun? really, katie? really??)

Regardless, I had to stop that blog (which, by the way, was not actually about sororities, though admittedly and embarrassingly tainted by their omnipotent influence), and suffer the consequences of free speech in a dictatorship run by women who've inhaled too many tanning bed solvents. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I've always been a writer, that really never changed. I just finally realized that while my life continues to remain in this bizarre purgatory between student life and "the real world," I should probably do something with myself and my free time. Plus cocktail waitressing really stresses me out (as stupid as that sounds, it's the truth, for some reason my brain is much better at abstract literary analysis than remembering that someone didn't want salt on their margarita). Plus I'm really different now. Like, really. This is what all the cool UCLA grads do anyway, duh, despite the fact that "cool UCLA grad" is probably an oxymoron.

So, in an attempt to validate my existence, and because I'm suffocating under the noxious vapors of 1) LA smog, 2) post-grad depression/ennui 3) insatiable anxiety and 4) a general sense of idealistic restlessness, I decided to start a new blog. Because it's just one more thing besides facebook and myspace to distract you from your responsibilities...consider it a gift. l'chaim!!

-katie